This year marked my 25th year of life, and I would like to commemorate this time by reflecting. This past year has been filled with lots of lessons but I am stepping into this year with more wisdom and maturity. The past year has been an opportunity to deepen my relationship with myself and to give myself full permission to feel and listen to myself. Every day is an opportunity to learn and grow, and I am thankful every day I can do that. Even though we aren’t perfect we should strive to learn and grow as much as we can and have fun with it. If you’re curious to learn about the lessons I learned last year, check that out here.
Now, let’s get into the lessons.
- Be aware of what you have to do and what you have to work on.
It may not always be fun and games to plan and think about long-term goals, but it is necessary in life. You get to a certain point in life and you have to face that life comes with responsibility and discipline, especially when it comes to your personal goals. You’re not always going to get your hand held in every situation. You’re going to have to get yourself up and plan for what you need to do and also what you want in your life. Good things take effort
2. Get to Know Yourself
Don’t deny yourself the privilege of getting to know yourself. If there’s anyone in the world that you don’t have to hide or shield yourself from, it is yourself. You should be aware of the depth of yourself, the quirks, the pretty and the ugly. You deserve to be honest with yourself. You deserve to befriend yourself, to listen, to date, to love, to admire, and to respect. One of the most important things we can do in our lifetime is to cultivate and deepen our relationship with ourselves.
3. Take Inspired Action
When you encounter inspiration, let it feel your heart, but allow it to push you to action. Don’t keep your dreams in your head and your heart. Don’t complain about not getting results when you haven’t even taken inspired action for what you want. You’re going to want the world to move for you but you also have to make the world move. Stop waiting. Set the intention, believe it’s possible, and take inspired action. You got this!
4. You Still Need to do Things Even When You Don’t Feel Like It
You’re not always going to want to do the things you want or that you should, but you still need to do them.
Duh. Just because you don’t want to do something at the moment doesn’t mean you. For a long time, I thought self-care and love meant only what feels good in the moment like getting sleep and preparing a nice meal, but it also meant being disciplined putting your head down, and getting things done even if you don’t feel like it at times.
5. Discipline Over Motivation
Some Things that are Worth it aren’t Going to be Easy. Consistent effort and deliberate practice are going to get you far. Pair these with patience and you will get so far. Another thing to understand is that your overthinking and procrastination can also make simple tasks seem daunting. The best thing you can do is to confront the discomfort and do it anyway.
6. Things Change Quickly. Time flies.
I feel like when I was young I would understand that time passes, but at times it would feel as if I would always be in the current state of time. When I was a freshman in college, it always felt as if I would always be in college and that felt like graduation was decades away. Time quickly caught up to me, and before I knew it, I was at the coliseum about to walk across the stage to commemorate my time as an undergrad. Sometimes you may feel that things aren’t happening, especially when your day-to-day feels like it’s bleeding into the day, but time is going to pass regardless. Our responsibility is to make the most out of the time we have. We never know what is going to happen, so it’s important to have fun, to feel our human emotions, to enjoy what we can
7.Never Give Up on Yourself
When you feel like giving up or feel like you’re not worth it, that is when you have to deposit more meaning, love, and kindness into yourself. Refer back to lesson #2! Even if you’re at your lowest, don’t let despair overcome you. You are always worth investing in.
8. Prioritize and Cherish your Female Friendships
Investing in your friendships is so important, especially when it comes to female friendships as a woman.
It’s beautiful, deep, fun, and feminine. You can be silly together and serious. They’re dynamic and refreshing. Yes, romantic relationships and partnerships are important, but cultivating your female friendships can bring more value and perspective overall but also to those other relationships as well. Love connection to your life. Life is constantly changing with work, romantic interests, schooling, and family, but it is important to have meaningful friendships that are near and dear to yourself because they can be the relationships that last the test of time.
9. Focus on the Positives
Focusing on the positive will attract more positive. Notice the blessings and more will follow.
When you switch your mind to see and notice the positives then you’ll gain more awareness of what is going well. You’ll start noticing the subtle positivities. It’ll also have an impact on your mood. It’s going to be necessary to confront and learn the harsh truths of the world, especially world events, but it is also important to have hope and to look at the positives. Keep your faith strong especially when you feel you are being tested and overwhelmed.
10. Keep the promises to yourself
This is going to make your life so much better. Elevate so many different aspects of your life. When you keep the promises to yourself you will also deepen the relationship you have with yourself.
11. Have fun.
Having fun isn’t only reserved for certain people, it is for everyone. Find every day and weekly moments of your definition of fun. YOu deserve to have easygoing, thrilling moments. You don’t have to earn these moments all the time.
12. You are Always Whole
Even when pursuing goals personal or professional, you need to remember that you are always whole and that achieving your goals doesn’t make you whole or more. Achieving your goals adds to your life when you’re already complete.
A dangerous thing would be to think that you’re only going to have value when you have a partner, a certain career, or certain material things. Don’t make your self-worth rely on whether you achieve the goal or not. Allow your pursuit of goals to be based on self-love not self-loathing.
13. Let People Know you
Not letting people get to know you is detrimental. Being scared of being seen or being scared of being perceived or known is going to be detrimental especially if some of your goals are associated with being known. You want to be a writer, magazine editor, actress, realtor, a carpenter, all of those need PR/ marketing to some extent. You have to know people to thrive. Also not letting people know you is a disservice to yourself. Not being vulnerable is going to hold you back. Sharing about yourself allows others to share and it allows them to get to know you.
14. Surround Yourself with the Right People
You are a combination of the closest people to you. Think about it. There are a lot of similarities whether it is belief systems, eating habits, physical fitness, or mentalities overlaps with the people you spend the most time with. It’s important to choose wisely and to nourish those relationships.
15. Your dreams won’t work out unless you do
This may feel like a duh statement but it’s something I needed to not only hear but understand myself. Keeping ideas and goals in mind is not very great. For these ideas and goals to become more than just ideas and goals, you must take inspired action on them. Show and prove to yourself you can make things happen. Take small or big strides in that direction. You can figure a lot of most things out later
16. Your priority should always be yourself
You are you. You are a living beautiful being that is worthy of so much. Yes, there should be other high priorities in your life but making sure you’re always a main or the main one will be elevating. You need to care for yourself all the time, especially if you’re taking care of others.
17.
You’re Never Too Old; You’re Not Too For Your Goals
Let the belief go that you have to be a certain age for something; it’s holding you back. Unless there’s a law prohibiting you from doing something like having to be 35 years old to run for president or be 21 to have a margarita, don’t let your beliefs about your age hold you back from your goals. A dangerous way to think is “Oh I have to be this age” or “I should have done this before.” If you find yourself thinking oh I should have started 10 years ago, think about how 10 years from now you’ll be so glad that you started 10 years ago.
19. Stop using self-care as an excuse; being disciplined is self-care!
Going about your goals. Trying and putting in effort is going to take you so far.
Self-care includes face masks, getting adequate sleep, and phoning up a friend, but self-care can also be making sacrifices for your goals. Sometimes you’re going to have to cut a phone call short so you can submit a proposal/project/article, etc on time. Sometimes you’re going to have to wake up early and get your day started to work on your goals. I have personally gotten to the point where most of my days are filled with self-care: reading, writing, walks, exercising, and spending quality time with people, but I’ve been lacking in self-discipline for my goals which is a gap in my self-care and self-love routine because when you truly love yourself you’re going to have to face discomfort to accomplish your goals. I promise it will be worth it.
20. Stop Shaming Yourself for Past Mistakes
Let the past be the past. Shame is just negative energy that is only weighing you down. To address shame, focus on self-care. Find your outlets that let you heal, express, and feel. It can be talking to a friend or a therapist, going on a walk, getting a latte, dancing, painting, etc. Also, make sure to reassure yourself that you are no longer in that situation which should be a huge celebration in itself. You can learn from your mistakes and stop dwelling if it’s not adding any value to your life. After you’ve learned the lesson, don’t let the shame and embarrassment linger. Memories can be a nagging reminder of what you allowed in the past, just make sure to learn and heal to ensure you don’t repeat the mistake and that now you know better.
21. Dating can lead to a lot of self-growth but it can prevent it too
Going on dates can be nice as it allows you to learn about another person and yourself. Being in relationships teaches us a lot of lessons as you are constantly being triggered and learning, but being in the wrong relationship can have staggering terminal effects, especially if it goes on for too long. People can find themselves trapped in relationships or they’ve decided for themselves it’s impossible or too hard to leave (this is especially true for air signs). When you notice staggering personal growth and more so lingering stress, you’re going to have to face reality and make decisions that are going to be beneficial for yourself in the long run. Yes, you can grow with a person but a lot of your growth can be diminished or tampered with by staying in the same situation that is no longer serving you. Growth with a person and growth on your own can be different. You can decide what is best for yourself.
22. Turn the Anxiety into Excitement
Turn flustered energy into energy for one of your goals. Flip the switch for yourself. If you’re nervous about an interview, instead of reiterating you’re nervous, tell yourself you’re excited to see what this will bring you.
23. Giving is Important
Giving your time, and donating finances and time can be beneficial to your well-being. It reassures and indicates you’re a giving person. Selflessness is about balance and treating those around you kindly.
One of the most important reasons for personal development is so you have more to give yourself but also others. We live and strive in community, and it’s essential to understand this for a fuller life.
24. You Can Have Simultaneous Goals
You’re always going to; there’s going to be different priorities in life. You might have to adjust them on the list accordingly. Just because you’re focusing on your career doesn’t mean you have to neglect your physical health.
As an overthinker and indecisive person, I held the belief that I could only have one top goal and I couldn’t focus on anything or much else until I accomplished that goal.
25. Ask For More
Don’t play small and ask for the bare minimum. The least you can do is ask for more and see the response don’t reject yourself first by not even asking. You need to get used to asking for more especially when you are a woman and especially when you’re typically a people pleaser. You’re holding yourself back by not asking and by not asking for me. The people you see with their goals accomplished have some sort of audacity, and that’s what you need more of, especially when you’ve been playing safe.
Thank You
Your birthday is a special time and should be treated as such. Make sure to tell yourself that you’re proud of how far you’ve come. Your existence should be celebrated every day, and your birthday allows you to do just that, and it also allows you to ruminate about your personal growth. I’m thankful to be on this journey of life with you, and I hope to see us all grow and learn together this next year. I would love to know what ways you’ve grown recently or in the past year. Thank you!