It was my birthday last month. Right before it, I was reflecting on life, and how far I have become and what I have learned. As we know, there is fear of aging and aging out of youth, but honestly from my experiences, I’ve come to learn that life needs to be celebrated not feared. Living is such a privilege. Sometimes life doesn’t go as you expected, but you should relish in the fact you are alive and living. It’s honestly such a blessing to age. Life is a learning opportunity, so in honor of my 24th birthday, here are 24 lessons I have learned throughout these 24 years of life.
- What is meant for you will never pass you up
What passes you up was not meant for you. Sometimes we get stuck on what could be or other possibilities, but the truth is that certain things just weren’t meant for us. Some things don’t end up for a reason. You may never know the reason, and that’s okay. You just have to accept it and move on to bigger and better things. Just know that if something didn’t work out, it was meant to work out that way. Rejection is protection. Certain paths aren’t meant for you, and that’s okay. We have to accept that and keep moving forward. An important idea to be aware of is that there are 3 answers when requesting something you want from the Universe/God.
- Yes
- Not right now (be patient)
- Something better is coming along
Be assured that when something is meant for you it will come when it is supposed to.
- Health is Wealth
Health is vital to living a life of quality. It’s always a good idea to have consideration and appreciation for your health. Don’t overlook or brush off certain persistent pain or uneasiness. Go to your check-ups. Get your dental cleanings. Sleep 7-9 hours. Eat your fruit and vegetables. It is never too late or too early to take care of your health. Good health is such a privilege, and sometimes, we overlook that privilege, especially when we are younger until we are faced with certain issues. If something healthy is in your means, you must do it. If it is not in your means, find ways to make it within your means. Health is always an investment that will be worth it. Taking care of yourself is one of the most important things you can do. It elevates everything else in your life because when you’re healthy, you show up better. Health is important, and sometimes, we just don’t know when health incidents come up, so it’s always important to tend to ourselves to have our body and mind taken care of because we deserve that care and effort.
Some benefits of better health include:
Better moods
Reduced stress
Elevated alertness
Better memory
Heart Healthy
More energy
- Never stop learning
Learning is a gift. Never stop learning about yourself, the world, and people. There are so many different ways to learn from books, podcasts, people, tv shows, movies, traveling, and many more resources. Explore your options, and experiment to see what you like. Knowledge is a vital resource that no one can take away from you. There is something to learn. Always.
- Try out something you ‘hate’
You might end up loving it. Sometimes, hate can be a disguise for love. We might be telling ourselves we hate something because we are afraid of its possibility and what that might bring. You could hate something for some time, but you could grow to love it. I used to tell myself I hated writing and running. And guess what? I love both of those now. They make me feel more alive, but I only know that because I allowed myself to try them again after despising them for a while. I discovered this when I allowed myself to try them, and I kept on. I was afraid to admit it because I had refused to even like them before, but it brought so much growth within, and now I get to enjoy life more with writing and running.
- When love is meant to come into your life, it will
We put schedules on ourselves when it comes to love and relationships. We’ll experience different types of love in our life whether it is with partners, lovers, friends, or family. We just have to be open to receiving love, especially when it is least expected. Just don’t be stuck waiting impatiently for love to come into your life because it will come when it is time. Don’t overthink it because that puts unnecessary pressure on your life. Enjoy your life and appreciate being single while you can. Have fun with it, you shouldn’t be miserable. Being single isn’t bad contrary to what society tells us. Don’t cling to certain relationships, especially when you feel like it’s coming to an end. Let go and allow what is meant for you to come through. It can be hard, but clinging to something that isn’t meant to be or last will make it harder for yourself. Some things don’t end up so something better can take its place. If you want to attract love, all you can do is focus on yourself and put yourself out there and do the things you already love.
- Cultivate discipline and devotion
Implementing discipline and deviation will take you farther than motivation will. It is about consistency rather than intensity. Taking small steps consistently is better than taking huge steps erratically or once in a while. Motivation comes and goes, so it’s necessary to have systems in place to keep ourselves accountable when it comes to our goals and intentions even when we don’t feel like doing it at certain moments. Your mood fluctuates, but if you cultivate discipline, you’ll go farther in life and your goals.
- Younger you needs to take care of older you
Life flies by. We can find ourselves wishing that we did certain things in the past to reap the benefits today, but we can’t reverse time. It’s always important to invest in your future self no matter what stage in life you are in. Invest in your creativity, fortune, knowledge, finances, relationships, and friendships. Life isn’t all about fun and games (even though it’s important to have fun), you do need to be serious at times. You still should be having fun and living your life to the fullest, but limit the recklessness. Looking out for your future self will put you at a remarkable advantage.
- Let the jealousy inspire you
If you ever catch jealousy surfacing, allow it to inspire you. Jealousy is a normal human emotion, you just have to learn how to control it and look at its deeper meaning. The jealousy shouldn’t come from a malicious place, but if jealousy comes, don’t shame yourself for it. Understand it and then learn from it and allow it to inspire you. It can show you elements or aspects of life you desire, whether you realized it before or not. You can then turn that jealousy into inspiration.
- Start where you are
You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to know it all. You don’t need to have all your ducks in a row. The most important thing you can do is to start despite ‘imperfect’ conditions. Then, keep on going. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if you had all the dreams in the world if you don’t act on them. As long as you try and put in the effort, that’s what matters. You can’t always control the outcome but you can decide whether to try or not, so get started!
- Turn the pain into power
Pain can be a powerful fuel source. You can’t control the pain and when it surfaces, but you can control what you do with it. It can bring you to a better place. From the pain, you can become stronger and wiser. You learn in the process of healing, but just remember to heal.
- Comparison is the thief of joy
Comparing yourself to others will not lead to happiness or satisfaction; it takes away from it. No one person on the planet has the same journey or path. We all have different experiences that shape and impact us. We only have our timeline to focus on. If you’re looking at the lives of others, let it inspire you and learn from them.
- It’s okay to set boundaries
It’s necessary to set boundaries. You’re setting yourself and those around you for better success because you’ll feel better knowing you have set standards in place for yourself. You don’t overdraw from your cup to fill others. Setting boundaries shows that you have respect for yourself and that you care enough to set these boundaries. When you set those boundaries, notice who gets upset by them and who disregards them. It’s okay to say no and have standards for yourself to keep you safe and happy.
- Show yourself love at every stage of life.
Always show love to yourself even at the moments when you feel like you hate yourself or when you feel ugly. That is when you have to increase the love you have for yourself. You have you forever, and you need to cherish yourself. It’s necessary to live an elevated life.
- Healing can take many forms
Healing takes many forms. Sometimes it’s quiet and soft. Sometimes it’s loud. There is a range for healing, and that’s valid.
- Choose your partner wisely
Who you marry and who you choose as your partner is going to have one of the biggest influences if not the biggest on your life. Even your flings or situationships need consideration. Don’t waste your precious energy on romantic partners that aren’t giving you the bare minimum or what you deserve.
You should be choosing people who genuinely accept, cherish, and like you (and eventually love you). Avoid people who don’t take you seriously. If you’re attracted to ‘toxic’ people, heal and learn the deeper reasons for why that is, so you can break the cycle.
Vet vet vet. Have high standards. Embrace those standards. Women specifically get shamed for having standards, but everyone benefits when two people are in a relationship where both genuinely care and like one another. If you want or intend to have children, think of it this way. You have the opportunity to choose your child’s father/mother. Do it for them if not for yourself. Do it for yourself and them, please. It is not a decision to take lightly. It’s necessary to have standards and to know what you want!
- Don’t take anyone in your life for granted
Life happens. Life changes. No one knows what tomorrow will look like or even a year or a decade from now. Appreciate and show gratitude for the ones in your life when you have them. When it’s time to let them go, wish them well, move on, and heal from this transition.
- Don’t lose yourself trying to make someone else or others happy
Your priority is yourself. You can’t fill someone else’s cup when yours is lacking. You need to look after yourself first and foremost. Your well-being is a priority. Bring more energy and effort in making yourself happy. Learn about what makes you laugh and what warms your heart. Find the balance between being selfless and selfish.
- Be kind to strangers
Your default should be kindness. You never know what someone is going through, so give a warm smile to a stranger passing by. Doesn’t a nice smile feel nice, especially on a rough day?
- You are allowed to dream and do things differently than those around you
Break out the mold and standards that are placed upon you. If you see people doing things that would make you miserable, you don’t have to take the same path as them. An example of this is Lorelai from Gilmore Girls. She broke the mold of what was expected of her because taking that path of what was expected of her would have made her miserable. She was brave enough to make changes and change the status quo for herself to find a life suitable for her that brought her happiness. You can learn from others and do what they’re doing or you can do something different. You may be faced with ‘obstacles’ or ‘barriers’, so you have to decide if the risk is worth the reward.
- Trust the process
You may not start where you want to be or where you’d like to be, but that means you just have such a learning journey ahead of you. You have to have a bit of faith and trust that everything is working out for you even when you feel like nothing is going your way, especially when you feel like giving up. “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.” Steve Jobs
- Decenter romance in your life*
*This advice is more towards women who are interested in guys*
Your romantic relationships should be important, but they should not be your number 1 priority, where you’re putting it above yourself. You should be placing yourself on a pedestal. Take the risk when it comes to love, but always put yourself and your well-being first. It should still be a priority, but you should reevaluate if it is the number 1 or sole priority in your life. You should not be making super important life-altering decisions based on a boyfriend, especially if no serious tangible commitment has been made. You should fill your life up with dreams, goals, friendships, and hobbies, not solely romance. Love is important, but it is not the end all be all. This is important advice because you should not be feeling incomplete if you’re not in a relationship. If you feel this way, crank up self-love and self-care.
- Do the things that scare you
The things that you are scared of are most likely the things you need to be doing the most. You might end up loving it or hating it, but you would get to learn that about yourself. You’ll have more confidence knowing that you tried it and that you didn’t let your fears control you. You’ll realize that it’s not as scary as you thought. You might end up enjoying it. It may end up better than you expected or you may be left knowing you at least tried.
- The grass is greener where you water it
You can be in the best relationship and have doubts but you need to reflex on why that is; it could be stemming from personal reasons. Gratitude is important, but if there is persistent doubt that is causing misery, then re-evaluate things and circumstances in your life. Put your attention on the aspects that make you happy. If 9 things are making you happy, but there’s 1 thing that drives you crazy, you should reflect on why that is. Would you be willing to let go of those 9 things because of that 1 thing? This relates to the 80/20 rule, where you have 80% of what you love and need, but you reminisce and feel like you’re missing out on that 20%, so you leave the situation that is giving you that 80% to just get that 20%. This is where you realize the detriment and danger of ‘the grass is greener on the other side.’
- Not everyone that comes into your life is going to be there permanently
Sometimes people are going to leave whether involuntarily or willingly. Sometimes you’ll decide to leave the lives of others. This is okay. We have these choices for a reason. No one is obligated to stay in your life. Sometimes you need to make hard decisions for your sanity, peace of mind, and happiness. We can only cherish the time we have with a particular person and be grateful when we have them in our life, but we can’t force them to stay. If they want to leave, allow them to. It is going to be okay. You’ll learn how to live in their absence. Love, grieve, learn, and heal. “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” Brian A. “Drew” Chalker.
We are doing our best in life. We should be proud of ourselves for the growth we’ve gone through and the growth we are currently going through. We are constantly learning, reflecting, and improving. Be receptive to what is going on within. “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” – Maya Angelou